A Letter to Lillian on the Occasion of Her 4 Month Birthday

 

4 Months Old

Dear Lillian Grace,

Another month gone and my, how much progress you have made! You are taking huge strides on your journey home; your dad and I could not be more excited. The truth is our house has felt empty since the day you were born. You are not with us when we wake up in the morning: that is very hard. The joy we feel when we are with you in the NICU makes it difficult to go home.

You love to play, to eat and to be held. You love people — you stare at our faces intently and with great curiosity. When you went for your MRI the other day, you took the longest trip of your short life — and loved every minute of it. As you rolled passed in the infant transporter, you took in all the sights, all the while sucking calmly on your pacifier.

As I held you today, once again I could not help but marvel at how big you are. The NICU staff and your visitors remark time and again on how much you’ve grown; your dad and I will never take your size for granted. I remember holding you for the first time 10 days after your birth. You seemed so tiny and fragile; but you grabbed on to me and you never let go. The presence that boomed out of your tiny body has grown with you; I swear that I can feel you as soon as I step out of the hospital elevator. We have yet truly to capture the mischievous looks that you give when you play — I am not sure that there is any camera that could capture them.

First & Current Diapers

Your dad and I are very proud of you. To say we cannot wait to take you home is an understatement. Soon the day will come when we will load all of your stuff from the NICU into our car, put you in your car seat and drive you home where you belong. While everyone warns me how hard it will be when you are home and we don’t have your wonderful nurses to help (and I am sure it will be), I don’t think I’ll ever admit it. For four months our dream that you would come home seemed remote and far-off; now, to have it so close to coming true fills us with joy. Your dad and I love you, tiny miracle. You have enriched our lives in more ways than we ever could have imagined. We love being your parents and await your home-coming with bated breath.

Love

Mom and Dad